Jokes for Today

Patentleathershoes

VFG Veteran
VFG Past President
My aunt sent this one to me
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Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs


Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three,
then line up in a circle."
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Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a
color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to
spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
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New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
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And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own
mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win,
I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
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Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
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Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in
football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
Einstein."
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Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to
graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)
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Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter
Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to
prison for three years, not Princeton."
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Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the
morning regardless of what time it is."
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Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's
expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an
aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
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Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him,
'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach,
I don't know and I don't care.'"
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Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a
player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're
spending too much time on one subject."
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Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas
why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because
she is too ugly to kiss good-by."

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