Hattie was a typical teenager in a lot of ways, and wanted to fit in and adapt to the American Way of Life.
In the beginning, Young Henrietta socialized with other immigrant teens because they had something in common and could share experiences, and because she had found some moral support from other young people who had to leave everything they knew and start over in America.
As time went on though Henrietta couldn't help but notice the cultural differences between her Austrian/Jewish culture and the of the American culture. (Especially when it came to dating.)
In the Austrian-Jewish Culture, Most teens didn't date as the marriages were arranged from early on by the parents. More so in the case of daughters then with sons. Parents didn't worry as much about their son's, but the daughter's had to have a husband who could take care of them, The way that this could be made a certainity was to have the girl's parent's choose her husband for her, so dating was practically unheard of.
Hattie was caught between two cultures, and because she was out in the working world she was meeting people and begun to go out on dates. (As her friends, American's and Immigrants alike would set her up and persuade her to go on dates.) She dated quite a bit as a young girl, probably much to her father's dismay who didn't understand the American culture or way of thinking. (and was shocked that his daughter was caught up in the dating scene.)
Although Hattie socialized and dated she really wasn't serious about anyone. That was until two years later when she met John. Then according to Hattie her dating days were over. She had found the man she wanted to marry, The love of her life. (and he just happened to be an American.) Hattie's generation was the first generation to rebel against the old way of thinking and they wanted to become Americans.
Hattie Carnegie's parents, Isaac Kanengeiser (Carnegie) and Helen Kranzer-Kanengeiser (Carnegie) had an arranged marriage. (Arranged marriages were a way to ensure that cultural and religious beliefs were passed on to future children.)
Hattie always believed that her parents grew to really love one another for a number of factors. As her mother was heartbroken and inconsolable when Hattie's father died. Hattie's father was always talking about how beautiful he thought her mother was. The couple had seven children within their union.
Arrangements were common practice in the culture, and Little Henrietta was well aware from an early age that her parents were going to select who she would ultimately walk down the aisle with. Henrietta knew nothing about courtship, dating or falling in love. Young girls didn't concern themselves with such matters of the heart, it was the parents decision to select a suitable spouse.Henrietta wouldn't have thought twice about this had the family not emigrated to America. Henrietta like so many immigrants before and after her suffered culture shock from the west. (Being a teenager is never easy, but Henrietta was a teenager in a new land.
Henrietta's parents even though they held certain cultural beliefs. Neither one of them wished for her to marry at an extremely young age. In fact, Even though they begun to set up the arrangement and select her future husband when she was around 13 years of age which was customary. (They did NOT rush the marriage, Henrietta didn't marry Ferdinand till she was 22 years old.)
Another difference, Most families did NOT permit the couple to meet till the wedding day to ensure they would go through with the arrangement. The Kanengeiser's didn't think that was right, so they permitted meetings between Henrietta and Ferdinand. They actually encouraged them hoping that they might just fall in love, so there would be no objections to the marriage.
Ferdinand Fleischman was aware that Hattie loved John Zanft.
When they divorced, Ferdinand fell in love and married someone else. Hattie was happy for him.
John Zanft was an American (by birth) Therefore he would have been disqualified from being considered a suitable husband by a matchmaker and possibly her parents because even though John was Jewish, (which was required by her parent's) He was NOT Austrian, so they would have felt that Henrietta would lose her appreciation for being Austrian and her cultural values and traditions would not be passed to future generations.
John did NOT understand Henrietta's culture. (nor did his friends who ridiculed him for dating a little Austrian girl.)
Henrietta's friends on the other hand were most supportive and played matchmaker for her and John. At the exact same time, Henrietta's parents were playing matchmaker for her and Ferdinand.
It didn't take long for Henrietta to realize she loved John. She wanted so much to spend time with him, that her friends covered for Henrietta while she dated John.
Despite being in love, Cultural differences and stress caused them to have several fights and disagreements.
The Kanengeiser family (Including Henrietta's father knew and actually liked John) Henrietta although she kept their romantic relationship a secret, she introduced him to her family as a friend.)
Helen (Hattie's mother) was very happy when John and her daughter were eventually united in marriage in 1928.
Helen was more leninent than Isaac (and actually encouraged her daughter to date as a way to meet friends.)
When the younger girls were old enough to date, Hattie's mother did not push the issue of arrangements, her ideas about marriage were changing as she now felt the girls should be permitted to marry for love, so when they fell in love and married she offered her blessing.
When Major John Zanft and Hattie Carnegie were married in 1928. He was always in her shadow, but never resented that fact. It was John who encouraged Hattie to expand her business beyond clothing and hats, to accessories and jewelry. He was a loyal husband who offered her advice and assisted her with making her business even more successful. John never took credit for her success, but Hattie was always offering him praise and never failed to mention how much she loved and appreciated her husband in various interviews.
A little bit about Ferdinand Fleischman- Hattie Carnegie's first husband
Ferdinand Fleischman was half English and Half Austrian, and his family emigrated to America around the same time that the Kanengeiser Family did. When Henrietta was around 12 or 13 years of age. Her parents begun the selection process of finding her a future husband. I do not have any details regarding the selection process in Hattie Carnegie's case, but Ferdinand was chosen.
Hattie's mother Helen told her one afternoon when they were going over to meet yet again with the Fleischman's to remember the family's honor. Honor was very important to the Kanengeiser Family, and Hattie's mother wanted her daughter to remember her manner's and to be very polite.
She mentioned to Hattie that she should wear one of her beautiful dresses that she wore while working at Macy's, (So she chose a pink dress and her mother thought her choice was wonderful because she looked so much like a little lady, so classy.
She told Hattie, that her father would have been so proud of her if he lived to see that moment, that his eldest daughter was discussing her wedding plans,. Hattie didn't really feel the same she felt like she lost her father and now she had lost John as well, but being a loyal daughter. Hattie did what her mother asked and what she figured would make her father happy,
They met with The Fleischman's and discussed the Wedding Plan's. A very unhappy Hattie decided to make the best of the situation, thinking that maybe just maybe she could learn to love Ferdinand and maybe love him almost as much as she did John and was trying to convince herself that it could work out and walked down the aisle if for nothing else but her family's honor. If Hattie's father had lived her younger sister's would have most likely have had arranged marriage's as well. The Kanengeiser had an old fashioned way of thinking. They had three son's and four daughter's. They believed their son's would be okay, and whether they married or not could fend for themselves, but yet they wanted to ensure that their daughter's would be taken care of and provided for.
Hattie's father had always felt a lot of guilt, because his beloved Henrietta, His eldest daughter had to take on such responsibility at such a young age.
He used to tell her, "That in a few years, she would be married and her husband would take care of her."
Hattie would always tell her father she wanted to be a businesswoman and her father thought she was being foolish and that she was just telling him that.
Hattie Carnegie's life reminds me so much of "Fiddler on the Roof" (and they were Jewish too. )
In the beginning, Young Henrietta socialized with other immigrant teens because they had something in common and could share experiences, and because she had found some moral support from other young people who had to leave everything they knew and start over in America.
As time went on though Henrietta couldn't help but notice the cultural differences between her Austrian/Jewish culture and the of the American culture. (Especially when it came to dating.)
In the Austrian-Jewish Culture, Most teens didn't date as the marriages were arranged from early on by the parents. More so in the case of daughters then with sons. Parents didn't worry as much about their son's, but the daughter's had to have a husband who could take care of them, The way that this could be made a certainity was to have the girl's parent's choose her husband for her, so dating was practically unheard of.
Hattie was caught between two cultures, and because she was out in the working world she was meeting people and begun to go out on dates. (As her friends, American's and Immigrants alike would set her up and persuade her to go on dates.) She dated quite a bit as a young girl, probably much to her father's dismay who didn't understand the American culture or way of thinking. (and was shocked that his daughter was caught up in the dating scene.)
Although Hattie socialized and dated she really wasn't serious about anyone. That was until two years later when she met John. Then according to Hattie her dating days were over. She had found the man she wanted to marry, The love of her life. (and he just happened to be an American.) Hattie's generation was the first generation to rebel against the old way of thinking and they wanted to become Americans.
Hattie Carnegie's parents, Isaac Kanengeiser (Carnegie) and Helen Kranzer-Kanengeiser (Carnegie) had an arranged marriage. (Arranged marriages were a way to ensure that cultural and religious beliefs were passed on to future children.)
Hattie always believed that her parents grew to really love one another for a number of factors. As her mother was heartbroken and inconsolable when Hattie's father died. Hattie's father was always talking about how beautiful he thought her mother was. The couple had seven children within their union.
Arrangements were common practice in the culture, and Little Henrietta was well aware from an early age that her parents were going to select who she would ultimately walk down the aisle with. Henrietta knew nothing about courtship, dating or falling in love. Young girls didn't concern themselves with such matters of the heart, it was the parents decision to select a suitable spouse.Henrietta wouldn't have thought twice about this had the family not emigrated to America. Henrietta like so many immigrants before and after her suffered culture shock from the west. (Being a teenager is never easy, but Henrietta was a teenager in a new land.
Henrietta's parents even though they held certain cultural beliefs. Neither one of them wished for her to marry at an extremely young age. In fact, Even though they begun to set up the arrangement and select her future husband when she was around 13 years of age which was customary. (They did NOT rush the marriage, Henrietta didn't marry Ferdinand till she was 22 years old.)
Another difference, Most families did NOT permit the couple to meet till the wedding day to ensure they would go through with the arrangement. The Kanengeiser's didn't think that was right, so they permitted meetings between Henrietta and Ferdinand. They actually encouraged them hoping that they might just fall in love, so there would be no objections to the marriage.
Ferdinand Fleischman was aware that Hattie loved John Zanft.
When they divorced, Ferdinand fell in love and married someone else. Hattie was happy for him.
John Zanft was an American (by birth) Therefore he would have been disqualified from being considered a suitable husband by a matchmaker and possibly her parents because even though John was Jewish, (which was required by her parent's) He was NOT Austrian, so they would have felt that Henrietta would lose her appreciation for being Austrian and her cultural values and traditions would not be passed to future generations.
John did NOT understand Henrietta's culture. (nor did his friends who ridiculed him for dating a little Austrian girl.)
Henrietta's friends on the other hand were most supportive and played matchmaker for her and John. At the exact same time, Henrietta's parents were playing matchmaker for her and Ferdinand.
It didn't take long for Henrietta to realize she loved John. She wanted so much to spend time with him, that her friends covered for Henrietta while she dated John.
Despite being in love, Cultural differences and stress caused them to have several fights and disagreements.
The Kanengeiser family (Including Henrietta's father knew and actually liked John) Henrietta although she kept their romantic relationship a secret, she introduced him to her family as a friend.)
Helen (Hattie's mother) was very happy when John and her daughter were eventually united in marriage in 1928.
Helen was more leninent than Isaac (and actually encouraged her daughter to date as a way to meet friends.)
When the younger girls were old enough to date, Hattie's mother did not push the issue of arrangements, her ideas about marriage were changing as she now felt the girls should be permitted to marry for love, so when they fell in love and married she offered her blessing.
When Major John Zanft and Hattie Carnegie were married in 1928. He was always in her shadow, but never resented that fact. It was John who encouraged Hattie to expand her business beyond clothing and hats, to accessories and jewelry. He was a loyal husband who offered her advice and assisted her with making her business even more successful. John never took credit for her success, but Hattie was always offering him praise and never failed to mention how much she loved and appreciated her husband in various interviews.
A little bit about Ferdinand Fleischman- Hattie Carnegie's first husband
Ferdinand Fleischman was half English and Half Austrian, and his family emigrated to America around the same time that the Kanengeiser Family did. When Henrietta was around 12 or 13 years of age. Her parents begun the selection process of finding her a future husband. I do not have any details regarding the selection process in Hattie Carnegie's case, but Ferdinand was chosen.
Hattie's mother Helen told her one afternoon when they were going over to meet yet again with the Fleischman's to remember the family's honor. Honor was very important to the Kanengeiser Family, and Hattie's mother wanted her daughter to remember her manner's and to be very polite.
She mentioned to Hattie that she should wear one of her beautiful dresses that she wore while working at Macy's, (So she chose a pink dress and her mother thought her choice was wonderful because she looked so much like a little lady, so classy.
She told Hattie, that her father would have been so proud of her if he lived to see that moment, that his eldest daughter was discussing her wedding plans,. Hattie didn't really feel the same she felt like she lost her father and now she had lost John as well, but being a loyal daughter. Hattie did what her mother asked and what she figured would make her father happy,
They met with The Fleischman's and discussed the Wedding Plan's. A very unhappy Hattie decided to make the best of the situation, thinking that maybe just maybe she could learn to love Ferdinand and maybe love him almost as much as she did John and was trying to convince herself that it could work out and walked down the aisle if for nothing else but her family's honor. If Hattie's father had lived her younger sister's would have most likely have had arranged marriage's as well. The Kanengeiser had an old fashioned way of thinking. They had three son's and four daughter's. They believed their son's would be okay, and whether they married or not could fend for themselves, but yet they wanted to ensure that their daughter's would be taken care of and provided for.
Hattie's father had always felt a lot of guilt, because his beloved Henrietta, His eldest daughter had to take on such responsibility at such a young age.
He used to tell her, "That in a few years, she would be married and her husband would take care of her."
Hattie would always tell her father she wanted to be a businesswoman and her father thought she was being foolish and that she was just telling him that.
Hattie Carnegie's life reminds me so much of "Fiddler on the Roof" (and they were Jewish too. )
Many people say that to me.