Funny things you say as a Mom

hatfeathers

hatfeathers

VFG Member
I found myself uttering some phrases lately that I never would have thought I would have had occasion to say, but thanks to my wonderful role as Mom of a 6 1/2 year old boy, there I was saying them.

"Quit peeing on the wall!" (those little things are hard to aim!)
"Get those scissors out of your nose!" (but I had an itch!)
and the slightly gross:
"Why is there an old carrot on your bookshelf?"

Want to share some of yours?
 
Just Yesterday: If you MUST hit your brother with a stick at least wait for him to get a stick to hit you with.. its only fair
 
Just Yesterday: If you MUST hit your brother with a stick at least wait for him to get a stick to hit you with.. its only fair
--------------------------
that is hilarious.
 
Well, not so much what I said, but what my 10 yo said to me - I was out of town teaching and called home Saturday to check in.

Adam: Oh, Hi Mom! Did you know that a battery and steel wool can make fire?!?! I saw it on You Tube!!

Me: :o DO NOT DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!

Adam: Um, um, ok.

The um um was all I needed to hear to know that he had already had the battery and was now tearing the kitchen apart to find the steel wool~
 
I find myself lately giving more permission to my 10 yr old girl to make her own mistakes, but I always add the last precaution in an ridiculous way.
At a friend's pool the other day the kids were practicing flips off the edge. My girl saw me cringing but not stopping her. On one jump she got large amounts of water up her nose and was coughing at the edge. I ran over and she expected me to tell her to stop so she kept saying, "I'm ok, I'm ok!" I got up in her face, shook my finger and said, "NO DROWNING!"
This morning she got out a GIANT knife to cut her bagel, and she said, "Do you trust me?" to which I replied, "just...no amputations or we'll have a big mess and I'll be late for work."
 
"I'm going to sell you to the gypsies"

I can't tell you what I said to my teen last week, but he made me so mad I had to go sit in the car and scream.....
 
As I leave the house I've gotten in the habit of telling my son not to "burn the house down". He knows that it has become a blanket statement for not doing anything to damage stuff in general.

About a year ago he admitted that he'd actually left a pot on the stove to boil dry, thank heaven I have very heavy duty pots!
 
To my 12 year old animal lover -

"When you are your best friend become college room-mates, then you can own 12 cats. But until then you will just have to be happy visiting his 9 cats."

I am sure I will become a grandma to many cats before humans.
 
When my younger son was about 5, he said something like "Richard [the dog] shedded in my shoe." He said it very quickly and slid over the shedding so that it sounded like a toilet word.

Same son about a year later informed me that there was a road under the one we were travelling on. I tried to explain that he was wrong and he quickly advised that there was a sign that said "Road under construction." next to the road.

He promptly ordered a second desert on one occasion when the waiter asked if anyone would like something else. Claire
 
Quote:
Originally posted by amandainvermont
"He's got the whole world ... in his pants."


I have known a few fellows who thought that was true of them

:hysterical::clapping::hysterical:
 
This morning I dropped Gabriela (2 1/2 years old) off at her cousin's house. I was leaving and closed the door behind me, but I heard Gabriela calling me and trying to open the door. I turned back, she opened the door, and said-

"Mommy, make sure you don't have an accident...in your underwear...when you use the potty."

I just said, "Okay" and laughed as I turned to leave.

************************************************

Things I've said to Gabriela:

"Don't talk to strangers about your boogers."
"You can wear your princess underwear when you use the potty."
Spoken at any of a number of gravel driveways: "We need to leave the rocks here so other people can enjoy them, too."
 
I usually just lurk occasionally but this was too much fun:

"don't play with your food until you eat all your toys"
"we don't use the toilet water to brush our teeth"
"they're cheesie poofs, not cheesie poops"
"spitting on your legs is not the same as taking a shower"
NO EATING DOG FOOD! (several times a day only to the one-year-old)
and... stop touching my boobs.

My boys are only 1, 2 and barely 4 in case you were worried.
 
Originally posted by sctcostumeshop

and... stop touching my boobs.
Click to expand...

Bwahahaha! I finally broke Gwyn of that habit about 2 years ago. She's 10 now -- and not even my blood-daughter! But she really had a boob thing for many years.


Originally posted by daisyfairbanks
I find myself lately giving more permission to my 10 yr old girl to make her own mistakes, but I always add the last precaution in an ridiculous way.
At a friend's pool the other day the kids were practicing flips off the edge. My girl saw me cringing but not stopping her. On one jump she got large amounts of water up her nose and was coughing at the edge. I ran over and she expected me to tell her to stop so she kept saying, "I'm ok, I'm ok!" I got up in her face, shook my finger and said, "NO DROWNING!"
This morning she got out a GIANT knife to cut her bagel, and she said, "Do you trust me?" to which I replied, "just...no amputations or we'll have a big mess and I'll be late for work."
Click to expand...

That's pretty much the tactic I take with Gwyn, too. My general response these days is "knock yourself out, Kiddo! But I don't wanna hear you crying if you hurt yourself!"
It's at this age that you pretty much have to let them start using all those life-lessons you've spent the last decade teaching them. :)
 
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