WAS "Wanted: Silver Shoes" NOW: "Bridezilla's Revenge!"

Anne...
that is a good idea...but far too sensible the way thigns are going

she went down that road but she couldn't get the color to match in the dyeable shoes. the color ended up a little funny and off. And they didnt fit all the girls. (did not run true to size, no wides, double narrows, etc)

blech.
 
Weddings and funerals - bring out the best and the worst, don't they?

My son just got engaged - YEAH! - I told them to elope!!!

Deborah
 
Oh Chris.......

I would give you a long hug if you lived close to me...... My sister didn't even bother to include me in her wedding. Which from your standpoint would be great, but for me, I was very disappointed and hurt.
 
That's a real shame Jamie, but I suppose you avoided all this at least. Weddings seem to make even the most normal of people a little crazy, and even my usually laid back (so much so I may as well be asleep occasionally, or so I've been told - is that an insult? LOL!) persona got a little bit hyper as a bride to be. It's those flipping magazines, I was absolutely fine until I read one and realised I hadn't got personalised 'favours' etc. My answer: to spend the morning of my wedding sitting in my underwear in the hotel drinking gin and tonic out of a teacup and wrapping sugared almonds in voile and ribbon..

oh Chris, I think matron of honour is a great idea, as then you can easily look different as you say. I was lucky last time being bridesmaid to my friend last summer, as although a self confessed bridezilla of the highest order :) she wanted black dresses for the 3 bridesmaids (think backing singers) but let us pick our own. It was the hair that I had a problem with, but anyway.. I hope your sister changes her mind!

p.s. Deborah - Congratulations! Eloping and a party when they get back sounds good to me :D
 
Thanks Harriet! They didn't take my advice, of course, - so the fun begins and I am taking a back seat - and I mean way BACK! My husband and I vowed only to offer advice when asked.

I was a bridesmaid for my brother's wedding when I was 13 and I hated the experience - the dress, the hair... and I swore I would never do that again - I kept my promise and my own wedding was very unconventional and ended with a big pot luck party a week later with friends. I told my maid of honour to wear whatever she wanted - and she wore 50s VINTAGE! The whole experience was stress free.

I feel for you too Chris - my step brother married the sweetest person in the world a few years ago - she quickly turned into the bride from hell. Ya know the traditional supper the night before the nups?Well, it had to be two nights before the wedding because she didn't want to be stressed on her special day; so out-of-towners, and there were more than a dozen that were must haves at this meal, had the added expense of an extra day off work and extra hotel expenses etc. for the Thursday evening affair. That was just the tip of the iceberg. Happy to report though she is now back to her sweet self.

So what kind of shoes should we be looking for you now, Chris?

Deborah
 
Oh congratulations Deborah, that's exciting! I hope they change their minds and elope or have a regular wedding but do exactly what they want and nothing less.

We had a relatively small wedding. (my sister will have 250, we had 40 including us). We invited 75ish/80 but most were coming from out of town so a lot didn't come.

I think she is getting back at me. I let her pick her dress. I said "any pastel color" except for cream. And apropriate for an outdoor, summer wedding. NO PRINTS. It has to be solid. (I was also open to two tone if say trim and belt were a constrasting color adn all that). Easy huh?

NOPE. She called me from the dressing room of a department store saying "she found it, she found it". And my mother described it as a floral print but it was more like a tone on tone/very tiny flowers. So i bended. But the pictures she showed me?? WHITE with huge red flowers. And my parents were mad at me because i was being too rigid. You aren't supposed to wear the loudest thing in the world as the maid of honor unless the bride is also wearing the loudest thing in the world. I put my foot down and my husband ended up picking a dress off the rack and mailing it to her. And it fit her and looked great.

We wished we would have eloped. And we paid for the whole wedding ourselves to not have so much involvement and that made my inlaws livid. And my parents were not happy that i didn't let the Queen (sis) get her way.

But my grandparents had a great time, so thats all that mattered.

Anyways....end of rant.

The answer is I don't know. I guess as simple as possible with a noticeable but not rediculously high heel. No mules because of safety issues. (spring o laters okay but a plain pair of silver that is not astronomical is rara) what i am envisioning that she wants is a spring/summer shoe. But its an evening wedding in the fall and I automatically think closed toe for that. how dare me.

Chris
 
Thanks, Chris! Another rite of passage in life's wonderful journey.

I understand how you feel about grandparents - the reason my husband and I got married was for my grandmother (we called her nan or nanny - she didn't like granny) - she wanted our children, as she put it, to have a name. We are, I guess what you could call, former hippies (my husband went to Woodstock - the original one) and we had kids first with no real intention of getting married. But I adored my Nan and, well, we got married. No rings; so my Nan bequeathed me her wedding ring that I wear today - it will turn 100 in 2017.

Ummmm, memory lane...

Just take deep breathes, Chris - all of this WILL pass.

And now off to avoid doing what I should be doing and - drum roll please - SHOP!

Deborah
 
Wow, Chris! What a huge pain!

Before I read the whole thread I was going to offer up a pair of strappy silver 60's heels -- but I think they're too big. Size 9.5.

Makes me glad we opted for a Vegas wedding. I had my two best friends (in order of how long I've known them) and my two sisters (in age order).
No arguements!
I told them all to buy BLACK dresses (that way that could wear them AGAIN!) that hit AT or just below the knee. We got them vintage brooches in different colors. We had the guys wear all black, too... and got them sharkskin ties that played well off the bridesmaid's brooches.
It all worked out GREAT!

I never understood why anyone would want the stress of aiming for "the perfect wedding". Ugh!
 
My husband's cousin's bride picked the same dress concept as you did. And it was the first wedding where I saw every bridesmaid look wonderful. It is always that one looks great and the rest don't, etc.

Well...to explain matters...my sister is 10 years my junior. Her fiance is 2 years older than she is. He was supposed to wait to pop the question until she graduated from college. But he couldn't wait, so he did when he graduated. So my sister was engaged at 19 and will be married a week after her 22nd birthday. This wedding has literally been planned, and obsessed over for the better of two years. And of course this is her princess wedding. She bought her dress 1/2 - 2 years ago too. And when this is over, I will have had quite enough. I am sure the reason my dad hasn't retired is because of the royal wedding!
 
Royal all right - royal pain in the you know what!

Zip on silver shoes today - maybe better luck on the weekend.

Deborah
 
You know, if more brides focused on a happy marriage instead of the perfect wedding, there would be far fewer divorces.... My first wedding (at 20, way too young) was your traditional Italian 300-guest wedding. Though I did put my foot down on inviting every 4th & 5th cousin on my husband's side, and nixed the all-day wedding celebration in favor of a 4 p.m. wedding... Unheard of in my ex's family! (You can just imagine, with both sides being Italian, we could easily have had 500 or 600 guests!) Had the 4 or 5 bridesmaids, flower girl, big church wedding, big photographer, cutesy bridesmaid dresses, etc. The "perfect" wedding....

Second time around (for me, 1st for DH), we had a small (about 100 guests at the dinner reception) affair at an historic 1800's inn, in January when it was still decorated for Christmas. It was absolutely beautiful! Had the ceremony there before dinner with just immediate families and a handful of "special" guests--about 20 people in all to witness our vows. Live music instead of what was the ubiquitous DJ sound back in 1992; wonderful food, including a special vegetarian dish for our veggie-only eating friends; etc. We paid for everything but the open bar, which my in-laws picked up, and overall had exactly the wedding we wanted. With only a few arguments between DH & his mother regarding the gues list!!! And for way less than $5,000, including everything, if you can believe it! The $2/plate discount for a January wedding sure helped! Even 14 years ago, that was a wedding on the "cheap."

But, in any event, my point is that folks don't need the "ideal" (according to popular culture) wedding and to spend $20,000 to $40,000, or whatever one costs today. We had so many guest tell us that our setting & the whole thing was exactly "us," and that it was the best wedding they'd ever been to. Even now, 14 years later, we still have people tell us ours was the nicest wedding they ever went to. In contrast, there have been several weddings on both sides since then that have been the "dog & pony" shows, costing zillions of dollars, and which have either ended in divorce, or have left the guests complaining about the lousy food, the hot & crowded reception room, annoying DJ, nose-up-in-the-air attitude of the bride, etc.

The marriage is what's really important, not the wedding! Brides today seem to think they are entitled to their "storybook wedding." And cost & inconvenience to others be damned. Frankly, it is that attitude (I want what I want, no matter what it costs & no matter how much a hardship on others) which does doom many relationships, I think....

Sorry for my rant--off my soapbox now!
 
\'Nother pair of silver Springos

Chris, did you see <a href="http://cgi.ebay.com/Vintage-Silver-Lame-Custom-Made-Springolators-Shoes_W0QQitemZ8400290112QQcategoryZ74980QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem">these silver springolators</a>?

That heel, though high, looks as if it would be very comfortable to be in for hours.....
 
I had a huge wedding. There were 300 guests. I was a happy bride. I had one Amazon bridesmaid (my 5'10" sister-in-law) and three petite ladies. My rule was the dress needed to be usable again. I paid for the wedding party's clothes. Here's the best part-I love to shop so I spent $99 on my dress, $150 for the bridesmaids' dresses, and $400 on tuxedos (fathers, ushers and groomsmen). My wedding veil was originally my divorced friend's veil and I had actually worn the veil when I played the Bride of Frankenstein in a Halloween revue. Strange but true! My wedding dress "spoke" to me. It fit me perfectly and was the only dress without a train. I'm short so a train would have looked ridiculous. I think it's ridiculous to torture your loved ones in a wedding party. The bride should be honored her bridesmaids think highly of her to be in the wedding. The bride should make it as easy as possible.

For the bridesmaids' shoes, I told the ladies to buy black shoes. I figured the ladies were the ones wearing the shoes so they knew what was comfortable. I bought the bridesmaids' jewelry from a great company that does Victorian reproductions and also paid for hair and manicures. My cost basis was inexpensive compared to larger venues because the wedding was in my husband's small town. If I told you the total cost of my wedding, you would not believe me. The dinner was combination buffet and sit-down. Everything was specially made. Nothing off the menu for us. We served champagne with dinner and had complimentary beer and soda. The caterer thought I was picky but she said I was the most pleasant bride she's ever met. I was so happy! As it should be -- I would think.

Chris, you have my sympathies. Bridezillas are not the only brides out there. Good luck and post of photo of your look for "the queen"-
 
Antique Lady, your wedding sounds wonderful! You sound as if you had what you wanted & how, without imposing any ridiculous demands on your wedding party! And what fun shopping & getting such bargains for them! I don't think "all" big weddings are a problem--just the ones where the brides act as if they are the only ones who count--often you hear that the groom himself is pushed out of the way while the bride makes all the decisions. Of course, I was lucky--my DH was more than happy to let me do so, as long as he had the right of review!!!!

You're right, weddings should be happy, not a stress fest. I wasn't too keen on my first one, but had the time of my life at my second!
 
Sorry i am bringing this up again. I thought i was out of the woods and free until i received a 4 page edict about every minute detail of the wedding and my obligation of presence. This is the part about the shoes put to pen by my sister:

As far as shoes go, I was thinking that the color silver would be nice. After really looking into it, that is probably the best color to match. Black is too dark, white is too…white! I looked at shoes that were dyed Victorian Lilac and they just don’t seem quite right. So…silver it is!

As far as the exact color of silver, I would prefer a “lighter” or “brighter” silver... if that makes sense. I would like to stay away from a darker silver/gray color and away from glittery or sparkly shoes. I would prefer open-toed but I just want you to be comfortable!

(comfortable doesn't mean "comfortable" i fear!)

I am done lookin'. I will revisit this again in June when i see her and I see her example of the "right shoe" eeeeekk
 
Just reading that line made me confused and wondering what perfect was and when she decided that you should be comfortable?????
 
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